Thursday, June 17, 2010

Teengenerate - Smash Hits! (Estrus, 1995)

What if I told you the best strawberry dessert in Tidewater, VA can be found at a sushi restaurant in downtown Suffolk? Taste testers from The Virginian-Pilot recently awarded a near-perfect score of 98 to the Wonton Napoleon. Here's how the newspaper described the sweet treat: "The stacked dessert on a plain white plate combined fried wonton squares dusted with cinnamon sugar, mascarpone mousse, fresh sliced strawberries from Bennetts Creek and a strawberry sauce. The corners of the wontons were bent upward, evoking the image of an Asian tea house." Sensuous statements, for sure, but I have yet to sample the WN. The reason? I'm a cheapskate of the first order. For less than the eight dollars required to wage an after-dinner war at the place that forgot to fry the fish, I can fire my gourmand guns at the nearby Baron's Pub. Meatloaf Mondays! Taco Tuesdays! Burger Wednesdays! Pizza Thursdays! Still, I should set aside a Friday to dig my bayonet into a Wonton Napoleon. People swear it's worth the 45-minute drive from the strip mall-laden lands of Chesapeake and Virginia Beach. Surely, I can manage the two-songs distance between my home and the WN. If those two songs are 96-X playlist poop from bungholes like Muse and 30 Seconds To Mars, however, beware of the inglourious basterd! I'll slice off your goddamn ears for radios and sprinkle them with cinnamon!

What if I told you Teengenerate are the best band that's ever come from Japan? On Smash Hits!, Fink (vox), Fifi (guitar), Sammy (bass) and Shoe (drums) blend tasty ingredients that are every bit as lip-smacking as those found in the WN. Combining the primitivism of '60 garage gods The Sonics, the 24-hour raw power of The Stooges, the 1-2-3-4 spontaneity of the Ramones and the for-ourselves frenzy of punk obscuros, this comp of assorted singles plays like the record collection of Rob Gordon's dreams. Wanna hear boss takes of Aussie greats Fun Things ("Savage") and Radio Birdman ("Burn My Eye")? Your Foster's is waiting at the bar, Mick! Ready to try some UK flavors from The Pretty Things ("Midnight To Six Man") and The Reaction ("Talk Talk Talk Talk")? Mr. Belvedere will be down with your Scotch eggs and black pudding in a jiffy! In the mood for American grub from The Zeros ("Wild Weekend") and Nervous Eaters ("Just Head")? See ya at Nathan's on July 4th, hot dog! Championship vinyl, no doubt.

Quote from Fifi: "I don't think I am a musician. I'm an enthusiastic music fan playing with a bunch of friends. That's it."

Yo, Specs from Suffolk and Lookers from Norfolk: Y'all interested in a tune that'll burn down the house quicker than David Byrne with a blowtorch? Try the Teengen-penned "She's A Dumb" at your next bonfire. G-damn, this scorches! Take the 'Mones with their stoopid fun, drown the Beach Boys fixation in John Stamos' bathtub and add the rehearsal-like quality of a Stooges bootleg. What you get is the biggest berry on T-Gen's Wonton Napoleon. "I Don't Mind" is another juicy fruit worth extracting. If Chuck Berry (Ha!) hiring The Real Kids as his backing band for a free show on the 24th Street stage in VB sounds like a plan, make it come together, Hannibal! The best thing ever from Belgium besides waffles is an incredible punk-rock combo called The Kids. If that band's the main course on a breakfast dish, T-Gen's "Sex Cow" and "Let's Get Hurt" could be the sausage and bacon.

What if I told you that on my way to finally surrender to the Wonton Napoleon, I will play Teengenerate's version of a classic track by The Vibrators? Hell, "Yeah Yeah Yeah"!

-Gunther 8544

16 comments:

Rutledge said...

On any given day, I would second the motion that Teengenerate is not only the greatest band to ever come out of Japan, but that it's not even a close call. But then on certain days, I'm all about The Registrators.

gunther said...

Still need to dig into The Registrators. Recommendations?

gunther said...

Oh, Shawn, the other band name I came up with was Japanese Drywall. Why should China have all the fun?

Rutledge said...

Terminal Boredom is the place to start - kinda like Teengenerate but somehow even greater. 16 Wires is equally great but different - more modern/new wavey. At the end of the day, I may still give TeenGen the slight edge for overall body of work. But it's a close call!

gunther said...

Like I'm wont to say, they're "on the list"! I'll sample some YT clips later. I know Shawn's a fan, 'cause he gave 'em high marks in The Neus Subjex.

Rutledge said...

I do believe I remember Shawn telling me The Registrators were going to save rock n' roll. I'm pretty sure they did, and nobody knew about it. If there's a third spoke on this wheel of Japanese awesomeness, it's gotta be Guitar Wolf.

gunther said...

I was lucky enough to see Guitar Wolf in 1997. Wish I'd taken pictures of them. Wrote a lil' blurb on the band, though.

Shawn Abnoxious said...

Hello D3S...

Ruts, I dont remeber saying thaty about the REGISTRATORS, but that dosent mean i didnt say it. And hell, I will take credit for it because I do believe it now (as well as proly then)

Yeah, I do push REGS out in front of the mighty Teengenerate. Terminal Boredom is a awesome LP but 16 Wires is really the gem. They take the garage thing to a new level. The REGS sound is more their sound on WIRES... In fact, i would push GUITAR WOLF up front of TEEN too. I get more enjoyment from WOLF records and their titles than Teengenerate... When the Japanese Tsunami hit though, the first band I thought of was Guitar Wolf... My Guitar Wolf Song generator started belting out song title after song title

Rock13 Blood Heat
Science Rock Forever
Black Rock and Roll Time Disaster

In fact, i havent been able to turn that fucking thing off since. I think it may be linked to those damaged reactors.,.

But try not to forget the REGS singles collection LP, which is like a bridge between BOREDOM and WIRES... and its hard to find, but Joe Domino of Blank Generation had one of his friends pick up a copy of a REGS import LP, called VELOCITY that was even more out there than WIRES. Joe wouldnt accept any money for it no matter how hard I tried. (mI have lost touch with Joe since. Joe, if you see this, contact me. Lets catch up man!)

But Ruts, get working on any coverage of the REGS you see fit. the D3S will be there logging in first (as always from here on out)

Rutledge said...

I think Shawn has assigned me my next review. On it!

gunther said...

Remember Joe Domino's quest of collecting every recorded Teengenerate song? Was he successful in the endeavor?

Thanks for the Reg tips, DS3! Shawn, don't mess with the GWS generator. It'll power off on its own.

Shawn Abnoxious said...

Me? I'm giving put assignments now? I would like to see something Josh, that is true, but follow yr heart man. I enjoy reading everything... That Demons review seriously got me a-wondering...

Gunny, Im not sure if Joe was successful or not. I will give him the benefit of any doubt and say YES, he did. Joe has been one of the smartest people I think I may ever know... But then again, Im a dick like that. You have to be smart in order for me to consider you a friend, (and also someone I admire) but it also isnt hard to be smarter than me, so lets also acknowledge that...

Im afraid to get within 100 yards of the CWSG. It has eyes now and the fucker stares blankly.

gunther said...

The ten or so Reg songs I heard today were titans. I'll play ten or so more tomorrow.

I'm guessing JD completed his mission. To have every Teengen song at the ready would be like having free meals from Nori Japan for a year.

Does the GWSG have a Miyagi slope?

Rutledge said...

Think I'm gonna take a stab at 16 Wires - just because it's probably the greatest "modern" punk LP ever made. G-man, given your love for Fuses and prior to that Wire/G of 4, I think 16 Wires would be right up your alley. Then again, so would Terminal Boredom. I'm starting to wonder why The Registrators are not more revered and held in the collective mind as one of the greatest punk bands OF ALL TIMES. Definitely sounds like a band that ought to be Dirty Sheetsized for posterity. I'm already on the task. Alert the media. Phone some friends. It's gonna be serious!

gunther said...

The message was delivered to Kurt Loder early this morning. He's still bent about that "Lone Rangers" thing.

Rutledge said...

Premise: if we divide the history of punk into decades (i.e. 1976-85, 1986-95, 1996-05, etc.), then The Ramones were the greatest band of punk's first decade and The Registrators were the greatest band of punk's third decade. Second decade has no single greatest band. The fourth? It's early, but OFF! is leading out of the starting gate.

Shawn Abnoxious said...

Wow. i cant wait to see the write up on the Regs's WIRES. thats gonna be something... The GWSG started powering down and becoming less vibrant in the hearing of this news.

the news sooths.... also, I started a new bands list, andTHE NEWS SOOTHS is on that shit...